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Hello I'm Hannah Beth and i'm 19. I'm a poet and an artist and queen of the bloggers.

I’m feeling really sad and i don’t know

A girl who used to go to my school died in a mudslide in Canada. To say we weren’t friends would be an exaggeration, but she was friends with a few of my friends. She was the second person I remember meeting freshman year, and would often ride the train home with my friends and I. At the end of freshman year she sent my best friend and I a “movies to watch” list, and we spent that whole summer crossing movies off the list and letting her know how much we liked (or disliked) them.

Anyway…. I’ve never ever even known someone in passing who later died. My grandparents, friends, etc. are all alive and have never even been in much danger of death. This is honestly my first time coming into contact with death, and I have almost no capacity for understanding it or dealing with it.

I know her friends will see this and might be mad that I even claim to be sad when I hardly knew her. I hate people who get phony about death. It’s not as if I’m losing a friend, and I don’t feel like I have any right to be upset. But I am. There was a human being, and now what? A mother has lost her daughters, and people I care about deeply have lost a close friend. There’s nothing I can do or say that will explain that.

I guess… There’s no point to this text post except to say that I am so sorry to any of her friends who might see this and that I’m… way more upset than I probably have a right to be and I don’t know jesus isn’t that awful 

14 notes
  1. nostradarnus reblogged this from allmymetaphors
  2. naviwing said: This is exactly how I felt when a girl I knew in passing in high school took her life about a year ago. I didn’t really know her, but I felt sad. She was good friends with my friend. So please know what you’re feeling isn’t odd or uncalled for.
  3. tacnayn said: It’s perfectly okay for you to be sad. Even though you weren’t friends, she still affected your life. Maybe you guys could have been better friends but don’t have the chance now. But don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have a reason to be sad.
  4. allmymetaphors posted this