POST-GOTH CRAFTLORD

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Hello I'm Hannah Beth and i'm 19. I'm a poet and an artist and queen of the bloggers.

She tells the therapist that the things she says
don’t mean anything.
Embroiders ”kill me” on a pillow
and “fuck me” on her bedsheets.
It’s all a game of shots fired
at the mirror.
Blood and vomit on the floor of the shower.
She tells me I shouldn’t look for her
in crowds anymore.  
She tells me her body was built for death and porn.

And no one counts the nights she doesn’t show up. 
She tells us she’s at home
sexting strangers. Swelling in a bathtub.
Her boat sank of shore last week
but she says it doesn’t matter.
"This life is for shit talking and boiling water."
There are coffee stains on all her cardigans.
Last week I caught her buying herion from an old friend:
We have no friends left, only junkies,
and I smell liquor on her breath.  
when she tells me it’s all under control.
We’re puffs of smoke and dope.

She lies to the therapist,
draws slit wrists in her notebooks,
kisses strangers with chapped lips.

When she doesn’t show up
we tie knotts in her life-string.
It is a game of high hopes.
It is sickness and dependency.

We find her clouded in bedsheets at the hospital. 
I’m afraid to wake up.
She leaves voicemails saying, “fuck, I love you” but disappeared out the backdoor at my birthday party.
There’s blood in the bathroom sink,
and I found baggies of cocaine in her backpack.  
We find her cold in Starbucks
mumbling spells into her coffee cup.
There are scars under her eyes.
When she doesn’t show up
we cut her life-string loose.

And she’s sucking dick in a hotel bathroom
laughing at the men
who have loved her.
She lies to her shrink
and says it is all in control.
The clock ticks
and I am afraid to open my eyes.  




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    This literally has me crying my eyes out.
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    She tells the therapist that the things she says don’t mean anything. Embroiders ”kill me” on a pillow and “fuck me” on...
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