I know that silence is as heavy as my least compelling secrets
and that you only say you love me
because you need to hear it.
And when I am falling face-forward off the high dive
you’re already drowning in the pool beneath me.
I guess I like strangers more than anybody.
When my parents ask, I lie,
and I say I think tattoos look dirty,
but in truth, I have your name tattooed all inside my body.
I have the things you said that hurt me
inside my stomach lining.
I have your stories like scars on my mind.
And these are the jaws of life.
These are the things I didn’t say when I could have
and probably should have.
“I am not a strange woman, I am a small one.”
I am sorry for not being all you thought I would be.
Sorry all my jokes are empty.
I’d love to leave your mind more than your body
but right now
I don’t have the choice to unlove either.
Sorry you had to hear this.